Dear Brooklyn
It's been a tough 16 months for us all but we worry for you the most. 16 months is almost half of your life, and I am missing chunks of it. Living in hospital for 3 weeks before Nico's arrival, spending at least 4 hours a day at the hospital (including the travel time) visiting your brother for more than 7 months after that, and even when he finally got home, things didn't get better. Appointments and admissions, as well as the hours of screaming each day even when we were home, have all stolen your mother away from you. I used to get up at 5.30am to visit Nico and be home by the time you finished breakfast, just so that I could spend the day with you twice a week. It is not the way a usual family does things. thankfully you don't know anything else. I am sorry for not being there every moment, ferrying you around and most of all I am sorry you won't have a regular childhood. We promise to do our best to make it as close as possible
I am even writing this from a parents room in the hospital. You are at your friend Riley's place. You have told me many times you are going to marry him. When you pretend to be Cinderella and I ask you who your Prince is, you tell me Riley. I am not too sure you have made up your mind yet though, which I am glad about, as you also tell me you want to marry Kam and Max.
None of this chaos seems to have affected you too much, you don't make a fuss when we leave you at the and you still give us cuddles,. I am not sure that you will be too happy with me by Wednesday though, so I am apologising in advance. Tomorrow Helen and Holly are picking you up from daycare and you may have to stay there the night. On Wednesday I promise, even if Nico is at the "big hosfiddle" you can come with me. Hopefully he will be at the little one though. You own that place and have all the nurses wrapped around your little finger, they have watched you grow up as well as your brother.
So THANK YOU my princess, for being the most amazing, accepting, flexible 18-35 month year old on the face of the planet. Without you, I would not have gotten through this. not only because you were so easy to offload, but because when all Nico's issues have me in a heap, you keep me smiling and sane.
And thank you to the amazing friends who have taken Brooklyn in and made this whole process easier for her (and me!!) Without you, she would have been spending countless hours in hospitals and waiting rooms, and our relationship would have truly disintegrated aws I would have been forced into telling her "sit there, be quiet, don't touch and don't move"
As your previous post shows, Brooklyn is not suffering from this. She is an amazing little girl and is learning so much from you. She is learning patience and strength and the most important and hardest lesson of all - it's not all about you. She is lucky to have such an amazing mum and the love you have for her is more than evident.
ReplyDelete