There is a whole post to write before this one... But that one will take time as it will encompass the last 6 weeks and how life goes from normal, to upside down and back to new-normal. This one is about one day that goes from normal to amazing. So it comes first
Nico was born a miracle. We knew this from day one. He held on until the day I ticked over to 24 weeks and all 700g of him fought to show the doctors he was worth fighting for. He showed off and had to have the 'best' of the ICU machinery. He didn't care for the regular ventilation.... He wanted the one that gave him 900 breaths so fast his body shook. Why let the nurses put a drip in your limbs when it would look so much cooler in your skull. He earnt a reputation early on in the NICU as being a trouble maker and never doing what was expected.... Good or bad. He had to do it his way instead. This pattern pretty much continued the rest of his too-short life.
Bored of miracle and hero status... Nico chose to graduate to Angel earlier than anyone would have wished. But it seems Angel was not high enough a title for our Mr Monster...
About a week after Nico died, I got a text from a friend telling me she had some spare tickets to a gala night in about a months time and she'd like us to have them. Obviously she was worried we would hide in the house and was trying to get us out with this kind gesture, and we were happy to say yes. A few extra friends said they were coming too and we thought nothing of it.
As the date approached and we got more info, we found it was a fundraiser for Humanitarian Clowns. I thought briefly it was weird for someone to get free tickets to a fundraiser... Especially as it was a 2 course meal, not just entry to a band or something, but then I figured her friend was part of the Association and slipped her a couple of freebies.
On the night, we turned up and there was a buzz of 'Oh, this is Nicole's table, follow me, let me take you through, welcome welcome!' And we were taken to front and centre table - yay - good to know someone on the inside! Had we have been the first to arrive, I may have noticed our prettier table cloth, nicer vase and wine glasses which may or may not have been on the other tables... considering it was a BYO event. A fairy approached us several times ensuring we were all happy and advising us they had wine and beer for us if we wanted. Still no alarm bells ringing that at a BYO event we paid nothing for, there were free drinks offered. I genuinely thought it was either the same as everyone or because my friend Nic knew one of the girls. Dessert got brought to our table on plates... Yet everyone else was lining up. I noticed allllllll these things. And still I thought nothing much of it. I didn't even find it weird that an absent friend, for no apparent reason text me saying she hoped we were having a fantastic night AND commented on FB that she wished she was there. I just thought she was having a crappy night at work.
After /during desert, Tim who founded the Humanitarian Clowns did a presentation of their history and work. There were trips to Africa, treks through India, helping houseless people in Melbourne and now their new Random Acts of Clowness in memory of Tyler Shaw who was killed in a car accident. Geoff and I were quietly weeping during all this, then as we are trying to wipe away tears as you could feel the speech closing we hear something along the lines of:
"And there are some special people here tonight who don't even know why they are here... Why they are receiving the VIP treatment..." (Penny is still not entirely dropping but it is wobbling) " when we heard of the loss of their son Nico we had to do something for them... So Kazz and Geoff, we have bought a star in Nico's name.....(no idea what else was said here) ... And also for your daughter, we heard she loves to dance so we have organised a year of dance classes and also a beautiful fairy dancing dress"
I can't even start to explain how amazing, surreal and beautiful it all was or is... So I won't even try. I just hope my amazing friend who organised this, Tim and his Humantarian Clowns my other amazing friends who kept it from me, please just know how much we appreciate it and love them xxxx (and all the rest who had nothing to do with this too... But you'll get a different blog post soon)
He has always been a star, but now he is a real one and we have a certificate to prove it. It can't giggle the magical giggle I miss so much. I can't give it the hugs I desperately want to give again... but it can twinkle in the sky and remind us he is never gone.
Nico has completed his journey from Miracle to Angel to Star...
Nico was born a miracle. We knew this from day one. He held on until the day I ticked over to 24 weeks and all 700g of him fought to show the doctors he was worth fighting for. He showed off and had to have the 'best' of the ICU machinery. He didn't care for the regular ventilation.... He wanted the one that gave him 900 breaths so fast his body shook. Why let the nurses put a drip in your limbs when it would look so much cooler in your skull. He earnt a reputation early on in the NICU as being a trouble maker and never doing what was expected.... Good or bad. He had to do it his way instead. This pattern pretty much continued the rest of his too-short life.
Bored of miracle and hero status... Nico chose to graduate to Angel earlier than anyone would have wished. But it seems Angel was not high enough a title for our Mr Monster...
About a week after Nico died, I got a text from a friend telling me she had some spare tickets to a gala night in about a months time and she'd like us to have them. Obviously she was worried we would hide in the house and was trying to get us out with this kind gesture, and we were happy to say yes. A few extra friends said they were coming too and we thought nothing of it.
As the date approached and we got more info, we found it was a fundraiser for Humanitarian Clowns. I thought briefly it was weird for someone to get free tickets to a fundraiser... Especially as it was a 2 course meal, not just entry to a band or something, but then I figured her friend was part of the Association and slipped her a couple of freebies.
On the night, we turned up and there was a buzz of 'Oh, this is Nicole's table, follow me, let me take you through, welcome welcome!' And we were taken to front and centre table - yay - good to know someone on the inside! Had we have been the first to arrive, I may have noticed our prettier table cloth, nicer vase and wine glasses which may or may not have been on the other tables... considering it was a BYO event. A fairy approached us several times ensuring we were all happy and advising us they had wine and beer for us if we wanted. Still no alarm bells ringing that at a BYO event we paid nothing for, there were free drinks offered. I genuinely thought it was either the same as everyone or because my friend Nic knew one of the girls. Dessert got brought to our table on plates... Yet everyone else was lining up. I noticed allllllll these things. And still I thought nothing much of it. I didn't even find it weird that an absent friend, for no apparent reason text me saying she hoped we were having a fantastic night AND commented on FB that she wished she was there. I just thought she was having a crappy night at work.
After /during desert, Tim who founded the Humanitarian Clowns did a presentation of their history and work. There were trips to Africa, treks through India, helping houseless people in Melbourne and now their new Random Acts of Clowness in memory of Tyler Shaw who was killed in a car accident. Geoff and I were quietly weeping during all this, then as we are trying to wipe away tears as you could feel the speech closing we hear something along the lines of:
"And there are some special people here tonight who don't even know why they are here... Why they are receiving the VIP treatment..." (Penny is still not entirely dropping but it is wobbling) " when we heard of the loss of their son Nico we had to do something for them... So Kazz and Geoff, we have bought a star in Nico's name.....(no idea what else was said here) ... And also for your daughter, we heard she loves to dance so we have organised a year of dance classes and also a beautiful fairy dancing dress"
I can't even start to explain how amazing, surreal and beautiful it all was or is... So I won't even try. I just hope my amazing friend who organised this, Tim and his Humantarian Clowns my other amazing friends who kept it from me, please just know how much we appreciate it and love them xxxx (and all the rest who had nothing to do with this too... But you'll get a different blog post soon)
He has always been a star, but now he is a real one and we have a certificate to prove it. It can't giggle the magical giggle I miss so much. I can't give it the hugs I desperately want to give again... but it can twinkle in the sky and remind us he is never gone.
Nico has completed his journey from Miracle to Angel to Star...
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