Tuesday 18 May: At 7 months and 5 days old, we got our baby boy!! There are no words to explain what that felt like. Like there are no words to explain the feeling when you first see your newborn. Completely amazing, new and scary but so natural. After several hours of waiting around while forms got signed, meds got ordered and the doctors did their final exam of our little man, we bundled him into the capsule, thanked everyone and ran out the door. There really was a huge, audible sigh of relief as we walked out the double glass NICU doors and realising that we would never have to go back in there (unles we want to visit)
The seven months flashed through my head and it suddenly hit me that we had been through something pretty intense. I know I have thought this before but not sure if I have written it but it doesn't actually feel as bad or as stressful as it should have. I am sure there were days where I was about to have a complete mental breakdown but that has faded from my memory. I can't visualise him being the size of my hand anymore. I know his arm was thinner than my finger but I just can't picture it. Thank god for photos, thank god for this blog and thank god for Nico.
Brooklyn was at daycare so we made a quick stop to get her. We'd been telling her for a few days that he was coming home but the look on her face when she saw him in the car was priceless. She was so excited and wanted the sun shade off him just so she could look at him the whole way home. It was the sweetest thing to see her little brain processing this and the smile that just never stopped. She calls him "Little Man" and didn't leave his side the whole afternoon. We still get a runnig commentary of what Nico was up to too : "Leeko's awake!" "Leeko's crying" "Leeko's ungy" (we still aren't sure if that means angry or hungry)
His night times are fabulous. He falls asleep about 7 or 8 pm, has a feed at 10.30 and then I wake him whenever I wake up in the night, usually around 2 or 3am for a feed. I wouldn't bother but we have a few feeding issues so I need him to get in as many feeds as possible. If he feeds well, this gets him through til 7.30am, if not, there may be another feed at 6am.
Daytimes are HECTIC!
I am sure we will settle into a better pattern but at the moment, his feeds take up to an hour, every 3 hours and he is often unsettled. This doesn't leave me much time for good quality time with Brooklyn and as fabulous of a toddler as she is, her behaviour is already showing me that she is feeling it. At least they are both asleep by 8 and I get some wind down time now though. This is a new thing to me as the last 7 months have been filled with hospital visits, expressing or work, and before that, I worked 4 evenings.
If anyone has any suggestions (I have probably tried them all but worth asking) about feeding, here is our problem:
About 60% of the time, whether it's bottle or breast feed...Nico will feed for a few minutes (sometimes we won't even get that far) and then stop and clamp his mouth shut/ arch his back/ turn his head/ scream. One or all of the above. He does have reflux, he has medication for that. He is best at the night feeds when I wake him, he will still often only have one side (not enough, my supply is crap after 7 months expressing) but at least he is calm and getting a positive association happening.
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